Friday, August 26, 2011

So...hey

Anything been happening in the past 2+ years?

Yeah, not much for me, either. Well, that's not entirely true. I've moved out of the comics industry and into the photography/graphic design biz. Not as big a jump as you might think, considering that I was doing both of those things while still working in comics. But I've kicked it up a gear and been working on my skill set. Moving from film to digital with the camera (a move I absolutely LOVE, btw). Learning web design and mobile platform graphics. Trying to find a place to put all of this knowledge to use.

And to that end, I've revamped Pandahead. You see the link to the website next to this blog. Check it out, and let me know what you think. In the coming days I'll have my photography site up as well. (It's designed, just need to implement.)

Oh, and I'm living in Woodstock now. Sharing a place with good friend Bobby Politte, who was kind enough to open his doors to me, my wife and our three cats.

So, anyway, just wanted to touch base. I'll be posting here more often. Sharing ideas and thoughts. Work and frustration. Whatever is best for the day and time.

And check back, I promise not to be gone so long next time.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

So...Hans

My friend Hans Rueffert is a hell of a guy. I met him many years ago at Dr. NO's, where he was another comic and gaming geek that came into the store with a big personality and a big heart to match. He later went on to publish some games in conjunction with Clive Barker, whom he remains friends with to this day. From there, he joined his family business as the Woodbridge Inn in Jasper, GA as a chef. That catapulted him to appear on the first season of Food Network's Next Food Network Star, where he fell just shy of winning the whole thing. Only days after that ended, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. After a long and courageous battle, he beat it. He came back to Georgia, and started up his own cooking show on PBS, Hans Cooks the World. He recently published his first cookbook--which I highly recommend.

This past week, the cancer came back. It reappeared this time as tumors in his brain. He flew out to Houston for treatment at the cancer center there yesterday. Today, I sit and worry about his health and well being. I know that he is strong, and I know that he has the courage to beat this, but I can't help but sit and wonder what he is going through.

If you can, take a moment and click on the link to the right that says "Hans Blog", and read a little about my friend. And if you have the room, send some good thoughts his way. Every little bit helps.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

So...Mister Miracle

Of Jack Kirby's creations for DC, the one that has longest held my interest is Mister Miracle. And I mean Scott Free, the husband of Big Barda, Mister Miracle, and not one of the others who have used that name.

The basic premise of that idea is that he is a guy that can escape from anything. It doesn't matter how dangerous the trap, you just aren't going to be able to capture this guy and keep him for long. He is the ultimate escape artist.

And I can't help but think about him every time I watch the show No Way Out. I watched it the first time on a lark, drawn in by the ad that had the star of the show--Jonathan Goodwin--walking through a series of bizarre traps and finishing it with getting a scorpion put in his mouth which is then sealed with duct tape. (That last bit does happen on the show, btw...and yes, he got stung.)

Last night's episode was a great example of why I am being sucked in to watch this every week. Jonathan was buried alive and had to escape. I think that I've seen that gimmick done in comics and movies several times, but you always know that it is special effects/a comic book, so you just accept what happens. Last night, I got to see what would happen. It wasn't pretty. While he did put forth a valiant effort, he did have to be rescued from this escape--after ninety minutes. How someone could survive, and remain sane, from being buried alive for ninety minutes is far beyond me, but he did. He panicked his crew--who is always there to save him if something goes very wrong--but he survived. He didn't escape, though, and admitted that it was the toughest thing he's ever tried to do.

And he ended that with "I can't wait to try it again." So, in short, he's nuts. But it's a good kind of nuts.

If you are a fan of true escape artists, I recommend that you give No Way Out a try. It's only a half-hour show, but it packs entertainment into each of those thirty minutes. It's on The Discovery Channel, Monday nights at 9:00 pm. And hey, it ain't like Heroes has been any good this season.

Like I said, I've always liked Mister Miracle, and Jonathan Goodwin is the closest thing that I've seen since the comic. Sure, he's not as good as Scott, but hey, Scott was a god after all...

Sunday, February 01, 2009

So...The Super Bowl

In about three hours we will have the kickoff for SuperBowl IXIII, pitting the Pittsburgh Steelers against the Arizona Cardinals.

As anyone who knows me well knows, I am a football geek. Every Sunday during football season, I am religiously sitting in front of my television, enjoying watching my hometeam Atlanta Falcons play. And even if they aren't the team I'm watching, I gravitate towards professional football when given the choice, and college football when that isn't available. And it seems that I am not the only one. Of the seventeen most watched television programs of the last thirty years, seventeen of them are SuperBowls. It is the most watched single-day sporting event in the world, and by a considerable margin at that. In fact, professional football is the most watched television show in the United States, outdistancing such phenomenon as American Idol and Survivor with room to spare. Yet, for the first time in history, this year the SuperBowl did NOT sell out their infamous commercial time weeks before the game was to air. In fact, last week NBC--the network showing the game this year--had to lower their SuperBowl ad rates (also a first in SuperBowl history).

What does this tell me? Well, it could be one of a couple of things. Maybe the matchup for this game is scaring off some advertisers, who see the Cardinals as being a detriment. After all, it has been sixty years since the team played for an NFL Championship. And due to that, they have long been considered a bit of a joke to most NFL fans. Or maybe this is another reflection of just how bad our economy is right now. Unemployment is at a 30-year high, and consumer confidence is at a new low for that same time period. Maybe advertisers are afraid to shell out the money that would be needed for this big-time stage. In all likelihood, it is probably a combination of those two factors.

But, personally, I don't care. I'm in it for the game. And, as a football fan, I'm excited to see the Cardinals playing for the title. They have played the best football of any team in the playoffs, and they deserve to be where they are today. I believe in them.

My pick: Cardinals 24, Pittsburgh 14

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

So...Final Crisis

Here's my review of Final Crisis #7, and the series as a whole. I'll try to keep it succinct so there is not any confusion (which, if you read the series, I'm sure you are used to--after all, nothing in the series made any sense whatsoever. I mean, I don't consider myself stupid, and I actually enjoy esoteric and abstract material, but this book was incoherently aimless at times--well, most of the time.), and I will also be totally honest. Here it is:

Worst. Series. Ever.

Done.

Friday, January 09, 2009

So...2009

Well, we're a little over a week into the new year, and I can only hope and pray that 2009 is a damn sight better than 2008. If it isn't...well, let's just say that you shouldn't expect too many posts in the coming year.

But, while I have a sane mind and the means to post this, let me give some reflections on 2008...

Best Movie
I would have to give this one to Iron Man. Probably because I'm a huge geek, but I also really felt that it was a solid film from start to finish. And yes, I did like it better than The Dark Knight, which was a good movie, but not as good as some people are making it out.

Worst Movie
This one has to go to Speed Racer. Cloverfield took a close second, but it couldn't hold up to the epileptic disaster that was Speed Racer. It seems more and more that the Wachowski Brothers got lucky once with The Matrix than anything else.

Best Comic
This is tough, as there were many good books this year. If I based it on storyline, I would give it to Thy Kingdom Come by Geoff Johns and Alex Ross, appearing in Justice Society of America. If I gave it to best new series, it would go to Guardians of the Galaxy, with Madame Xanadu taking a close second. Best limited series would likely go to Secret Invasion, even with the bad ending and silly moments in the middle. And for overall consistency, I would have to go with Wonder Woman, Action Comics, and Invincible in a three-way tie. So, I guess I don't have a single answer to this one. Just a series of bests.

Worst Comic
This, again, is a tough one. There have been a number of low points for any number of comics. And there are those--such as Captain America, Daredevil, Blue Beetle, and others--that have been really bad every issue. But if I had to pick a single book, then I would have to award Final Crisis. It is so unfocused and anti-climactic that it is an unmitigated disaster.

Best Whatever
That was getting my new wedding band on Christmas Day, which I have already written about, thank you.

Well, that seems like enough of the best/worst list. Let's move on...

I would like to give a big, public "Thank You!" to the Atlanta Falcons. If you have read many of my posts, you will have noticed that I am a bit of a sports fan, and am a huge Falcons fan. After what I still consider the worst year of any professional sports team in so many ways in 2007, no one--myself included--had any high hopes for the team this year. And they made every game exciting and fun to watch. And even more, they went all the way to the playoffs with an 11-5 record. Wow. I was hoping for six wins when the season began. This was one of the best, most exciting things to happen in Atlanta sports in a long time. I can only thank them from the bottom of my heart for a wonderful season. I'm looking forward to next year.

Back to comics for a second:

In an amazing "what were they thinking?" moment, Marvel put out one of the most poorly phrased and jaw dropping solicitations I've ever seen. I'll reprint it here with the cover image:



"The bottom of the ocean. The bottom of the Earth. The depths. Legendary adventurer Randolph Stein travelled here, into the dark belly of the Marianas Trench, to find a missing deep-sea expedition and refute a legend. What he’s found surpasses his wildest nightmares. A creature of indescribable power and fury has been waiting for him. Its name is Namor, and it has special plans for Stein. Special plans."

I don't think they INTENDED to write a homo-erotic solicitation for the book, but man did they succeed!

And speaking of homo-erotic... I am a fan of Andrew Zimmern and his show, Bizarre Foods. I thought I was recording an episode of the show the other day, when I instead recorded a spin-off series, Bizarre World. In this series, Andrew tours the world showing the customs of other cultures. Great idea. I am jealous of those that have had a chance to see them firsthand, and would love that opportunity someday myself. But...well, in this episode Andrew went to Turkey. And while I wouldn't have thought that Turkey would be prone to homo-erotic behavior, the episode started by showing the country's national sport: olive oil wrestling. In this sport, grown men put on very tight leather pants, cover themselves in oil, and wrestle...by shoving their hands down each other's pants to get leverage. It got worse from there. It was hilarious.

Well, that's enough for today. I'm fighting a horrible case of depression, and doing my best to overcome anything that pushes me that way. Writing tends to help.

Enjoy your life. Appreicate everything you have. You never know when all that you hold precious will be taken from you.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Christmas Memories

It's been a good Christmas.

I honestly wasn't expecting to say those words this year, but it's true. Christmas seems to bring out the best in people, and create the best memories of our too-fleeting lives. A great example of the best that could happen is the cease-fire incident of World War I that started in Ypres and moved throughout the entire front line of the war. (To read more about that, click here.)

From a personal perspective, my finest Christmas memory is now twelve years old. It was on Christmas in 1996 that I asked Allyson to be my wife. She said yes, for some reason, by the way...that's what makes it a good memory.

But this year comes close to matching that one, and I'm going to tell you why--but it requires some backstory.

About two months back, I was working at Dr. NO's doing the things that I normally do: ringing up customers, sorting and filing comics, and that sort of thing. At some point, my wedding band fell off my hand. Pretty much everyone at the store looked for it, as well as some people who just wanted to help out, and even though I appreciate all the effort that everyone put into the search, sadly the results were negative. My ring was gone.

I was crushed. That ring had tremendous sentimental value to me, and not just because I was given it on my wedding day. At the time of our wedding, my wife was unemployed, and couldn't afford to buy me a ring. I told her not to worry, that at some point we would have the money and until then I could just wear a simple hematite band that we found at a nature store. She was sad, but understanding. Of course, she also wasn't content to leave things there. She took her hunting rifle (yes, my wife used to have a hunting rifle) and went from pawn shop to pawn shop, looking to trade it for a ring. She didn't have the success that she hoped for, as her rifle was not in demand and there wasn't enough value to get a ring. That is, until she stopped at a pawn shop up in Kennesaw and was again turned down--and she broke down crying. The shop owner asked what was wrong, and she told him her story. With a smile, he pulled out a large bag of rings and told her to take her pick. At our wedding, she surprised me with that ring--as anyone that attended our wedding is sure to remember.

But that ring went away, and I was devastated.

Then, about four weeks ago, I canceled Christmas at our house. Once again, Allyson is unemployed--like far too many people today--and this time is worse than ever before. We are struggling to survive, and we quite literally don't know what the future holds for us. We have been forced to make some dramatic decisions in our lives, and are facing a greater change than we ever have. Our future is uncertain, and our stress is at an amazing level, but we cling to each other for strength through all of this--and today she reminded me why.

Once again, Allyson took to the pawn shops, carrying with her this time a wide array of jewelry that she no longer decided she needed, determined to find me a ring to replace the one that I lost. She didn't have as much success this time around, as the economic situation has hit even pawn shops--they couldn't offer her enough to pay for a ring. Once again dejected, she turned to the most unlikely of all places: the mall. Wandering through in hopes to find me a small gift for the holidays--even though we told each other "no presents!"--her eye was caught by a kiosk that was displaying men's wedding bands. And when she looked at the price, she was stunned. It was well within her own price range, mainly due to the simple fact that it wasn't gold or even silver--it was made of stainless steel.

So, this morning when we got up for the day, and wandered down to our not-decorated living room we both surprised each other with a couple of small presents (yeah, I broke the rule, too). I got her a couple of books, a calander and a Wonder Woman hoodie that I knew she wanted from Dr. NO's. She gave me a small tin filled with a spice blend that she knew I loved. And then she told me to open it.

Inside was a brilliant piece of shining metal. A new wedding band that she bought me to replace the one that I lost. I put it on, and it fit perfectly. I was in shock then, and am still a little choked up writing this now. I hadn't made much of losing the ring, as I didn't want her to feel guilty about me not having one, but since it disappeared, I have felt...wrong. As though a part of me was missing. Now, I look down at my left hand as I type this, and a gleaming piece of metal shines back up at me.

A stainless steel wedding band might not be the ideal thing to most, but for me, there is nothing more beautiful than that chunk of metal that is resting on my figure. Except, of course, for the woman that bought it for me. That might sound a little overly dramatic and sickly romantic, but it is really how I feel right now. Christmas was saved for me, by a simple piece of common metal, brought to me in a very uncommon way.

In the grand scheme of things, this doesn't compare with the event at Ypres that I mentioned earlier, but to me, at this moment, it is one of the greatest events in the history of the holiday.

I hope that all of you have had a wonderful Christmas day, whether you choose to celebrate the actual holiday or not. There is a magic to this time of year that truly does create memories, and this year it has created one that I will never forget.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Another SIlly Test Thingie...




There Are 0 Gaps in Your Knowledge



Where you have gaps in your knowledge:



No Gaps!



Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge:



Philosophy

Religion

Economics

Literature

History

Science

Art

Friday, November 07, 2008

Hello

Y'know, it's been months since I posted anything here. I've felt kinda bad about that, so I decided to do something about it.

And now I have.

Oh, and there have been a vast number of things that have been going on in my life, some of which I hope to expand upon here at a future date. But, until then, just know that I am alive and healthy--even if I have been having some odd dizzy spells for the past three weeks--and am keeping far more than simply "busy."

Best for now, and I'll be back soon.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Please, Enjoy!

I realized today that I want to be like Matt. I've never met Matt, but I had an opportunity to, as he was in Atlanta once. Matt has a great attitude and a charm that is more than just a little contagious. If you don't know Matt, you should. You can learn about him and see if you, too, would like to be like Matt by either clicking the title of this post, or by going to this website if that didn't work right: http://www.vimeo.com/1211060

If you haven't been there yet, go. If you are stubborn and insistent on reading this entire post before going, I'll tell you my reaction to Matt.

I laughed. I cried. It was truly a little over four of the happiest moments of this year for me. It's hard to believe that this one video is so compelling and entertaining, but it says so much in such a simple way.

We are all the same people. We all share the same simple joys and pleasures. Yet we let other, much more stupid things complicate that and ruin our lives.

Take five minutes out of your life. Watch Matt. Enjoy those minutes. And maybe, just maybe, we can all try to have a little bit of Matt in us every day.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

So...Speed Racer

Well, I'm three weeks into the 2008 movie marathon and we hit a major snag. 2008 is a promising summer for movies, with a movie coming out almost every week through July that I want to see. And I say almost because there are a couple of weeks in there that have some clunkers...and this was one of them.

Now, I kinda wanted to see Speed Racer, up until the point where I read a few reviews talking about how overwhelmingly bad the movie is anyway. But my wife, who was a much bigger fan of the TV show than I was, still wanted to go see it, so, prepared for what was surely a bad movie, I went in ready for the worst.

I needed a bigger boat.

Speed Racer is an amazingly bad movie, that, as one reviewer stated, "looked like someone threw up Skittles all over the screen." Now, if I haven't mentioned it, I am color blind, and about 10 minutes into the movie my wife leaned over to me and told me that she was so jealous of that fact, and the movie was way too colorful for me. It's really difficult to describe just how much of a sensory overload this film is, except perhaps to say that when we walked out of the theater we felt as though the world was an odd, bland place.

And the filmmakers decided that, in order to keep with the title of the film, I'm guessing, they would make sure that things were ALWAYS in motion in the movie. The constant panning and scene swipes in the film are incredibly annoying. I once condemned Francis Ford Copolla's Bram Stoker's Dracula for using to many fades and swipes in a movie, and I would officially like to apologize to him and that film, as having seen Speed Racer I now feel that every other frenetic film ever made was shot with a single stationary camera.

Oh, and the writing...let's talk about the writing for a second. It was horrible. The plot and pacing of the movie was so disjointed and haphazard that it was difficult to follow. What's more, just about every action scene in the movie is so flashy and oversaturated that you can't follow a single action, let alone make heads or tails out of what is happening in the race.

And speaking of the races, if you have any appreciation for well executed and technically accurate racing, well, then you want to avoid this movie at all costs. At almost no moment during the film do the cars ever go in a straight line. I know, I know--strange concept for a car, that whole driving in a straight line thing, but I still wish it happened at least once or twice in a race. Instead, the cars flip and spin in an odd mix of acrobatics and martial arts maneuvers as they literally fight their way down the speedway in an attempt to win the race.

So, all in all, it was a bad movie. A very bad movie, in fact. And yet, because I went into the theater expecting one of the worst movies I've seen in a while, I had fun. I laughed and smiled a lot. And it was because of the movie. Not because of good things, but because it was so bad that I was able to mock it and joke about it with my friends for the length of the whole film. And I also look at the experience as something I can almost brag about. Seeing the ticket receipts from the first weekend--putting the movie around the $20 million range--I will be among the few that can say they actually saw that cacophonous disaster on the big screen.

Still, I know what the Wachowski's were going for when they made the movie, right after the film ended. Every child under the age of about 12 that stood up after the movie was giddy happy. One kid actually danced down the aisle with his mom when it was done. So, all the colors and motion did have a target audience, but it was even younger than my own youthful mindset.

And there were a few moments in the film that made me smile for the right reasons. The race in the middle of the film where Speed drives the Mach 5--oh, did I not mention that he doesn't drive the Mach 5 in the majority of the movie? No, he drives the classic and beloved Mach 6 through most of it--is highly reminiscent of the original show. It even features a bad guy from the original series. And, even though I think I was the only one in my group that enjoyed it, I liked the scene where Racer X took on the mobsters rolling headquarters, mostly for little touches like him constantly shooting up the vehicle in an "X" pattern and such; and it also seemed that fighting a rolling headquarter semi-truck was something right out of the show, and was the only action sequence that was easy to follow visually.

So, anyway...bad movie. Don't go see Speed Racer unless you have kids. Or really want to go see something very, very bad on a big screen that has a very distinct possibility of causing a seizure at any given moment.

On the other hand, if you want to go see a good movie go see Iron Man. I'm thinking of going to see it again just to clean my movie palette...

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Pride...In The Name of Love

No, this post has absolutely nothing to do with U2.

What this post deals with are two different people who have been in my life for a very long time that I want to spend a moment praising for their recent efforts.

A week ago, one of my oldest and dearest friends, Jerry Murdock, held a party to, as he phrased it, "Celebrate the Murdocks". He didn't make a big noise as to WHY he was wanting to do this, but I would like to think that everyone who made it to the party--and there were about 100 of us--knew why.

About 4 years ago, Jerry and his wife Phyllis took in two children not their own. Phyllis' sister and her husband had gone to a dark place in their lives, and their children were being taken away by the authorities. Rather than see them put in a home of strangers, the two of them took both children, a young boy and his younger sister, into their own house to live beside the couple's own two daughters. Overnight, Jerry and his wife went from having two young children to having four young children, and they were both happy to do it.

Well, time went on, and the situation with the two children's birth parents didn't improve. And, after almost four years of living with them, Jerry and Phyllis decided that it was time to bring the two children into their lives officially. So, taking the proper procedures and steps, they filed adoption papers. And, a few weeks ago the two children became Cody and Stevie Murdock.

Being a good friend of Jerry's, he confided in me throughout the process, telling me the trials and tribulations that occurred, and the stress that it put on him personally to fight for these children's well being. But, throughout it all, he never once faltered. He never thought about himself, but about what needed to be done for those kids. And, even though they never planned it, they now have twice the children they planned on. And with them having the current ages of 10, 11, 12 and 13, he's got more than his fair share of headaches ahead of him. But I know that he won't let anything get to him. Being one of the most laid-back people on the planet, he'll take it all in stride. But I don't want anyone to ever look at his easy-going nature the wrong way: he's willing to fight when the time comes and never back down.

And then there is the matter of someone else in my life--someone even closer to me than Jerry. Earlier this year my wife, Allyson, found herself unemployed. And in this day and age, that's not something anyone wants to face. And what's more, she was quickly coming to realize that the career path she had chosen, that of being a graphic designer, wasn't where she wanted to be at this point. It was time for a change.

So, she began a venture of her own. She had long been talking about starting up a company that involved one of her true passions in life, tea, and fate had brought her the opportunity to pursue that dream.

Thus, she started Coyotea, a company that will provide fine teas to fine dining establishments, along with providing the staff of those places the education to prepare and serve that tea properly. This isn't a wild idea, as she has done her research and there are several successful companies providing these same services in a variety of cities around the country. She has put in hours upon hours of research, created her own special unique blends of tea, and put together a business plan and sales collateral to make this business a success.

Of course, any new business isn't going to bring in any money right off the bat, so she had to do something that would bring in money. Today is her second day working at Starbucks. She understands that it isn't going to bring in the type of money that she made as a graphic designer, but the work environment is far more pleasant than that of a corporate desk job, and it leaves her with the energy to continue to work on her own business in the interim.

It takes an amazing amount of courage to take that leap. To believe in yourself and your dream to the point where you are willing to take far less money, and all but double your workload at the same time. But the ultimate goal is worth it: to have a career that isn't only something that you want to do, but something that you have created from the ground up. Something that you can truly call your own.

So there you have it. Two people who have both taken steps that most wouldn't consider. Done things that others are often too afraid to do themselves. The pride I have in knowing both of these people is incalculable. And that they count me among their friends and loved ones humbles me.

So, I wanted to take a few moments to sit down and share what I was feeling, and express how proud I am to know both of them. Oh, and also to thank them for being inspirations to me in ways that they might not ever truly understand, because, well, they won't see what they've done as anything special. Which is yet another reason that they are that amazing.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Verbanizing Our Vocabulation

I have a degree in English. What this means varies from person to person. Some feel that it makes me a pretentious ass, who speaks as though he was better than everyone around them. Others feel that I wasted my education completely. And yet others--the ones that know me better--doubt this completely and/or think that the college I went to must hand out degrees to anyone who gives them enough money.

What it means to me is that I grind my teeth when I see the horrible things that have happened to the English language in the past couple of decades.

Now, I'm sure that cringing at the abuse the language takes has been going on as long as people have been studying language, but since I have only been alive during my lifetime (that I can tell, anyway), I'm going to focus on that. And more specifically, what seems to be happening more and more and more...and that would be creating new words out of old words in entirely the wrong way.

This is recently inspired by two instances inside of 24 hours. Tonight, coming back from picking up a quick dinner, I saw a place called Synergenistic Fitness. Not Synergy Fitness, or even Synergistic Fitness, but Synergenistic Fitness. Maybe it was a typo. Maybe I misread it (God, I hope I misread it...), but I fear not.

The other comes from watching a train wreck of a television series called Kymora: Life in the Fab Lane yesterday and hearing the model/entrepreneur/egomaniac the show is about refer to her life as Fabulosity. And that was no typo or me mishearing it. She said it several times. Wow. That takes some thinking to figure out.

And those are just two recent examples. The habit of "verbing" words makes no sense to me. Someone the other day told me that they had just "iPodded" some songs. Huh? It was bad enough that "Photoshop" became a verb, but I think that things are progressing far too quickly down this path. I dunno, maybe I'm too old, but it bugs me.

I, for one, would like to address this phenomenon in the only way that I can think to handle it...

Personally, I find this creativiosity to be most enlightenish. Creating a sensationly moment in my life, enhancenating even the most awesometastic happenstuff that could ever flowup to my brainly craters. But, depressionally considerating the ramificationing of the verbinations that might be creationated from this phenomenons, I wisenly figure that all intellegentsia that could inhabinate the planet could resultify in my own personalizified irradicadory moment aidicated from an outside accomplimentary person wieldifiying a projectilized weapon.

In other words: shoot me now...shoot me now...

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Not Quite There...

I was born in the south. I was raised in the north. I moved back to the south just in time to finish high school, and have lived here ever since. I like it here, and consider myself a southerner at this point, with no plans to leave.

But that doesn't mean that I'm fully to that "Southerner" point by all standards. And I had that illustrated by a simple fact that I never heard before, and it still seems more than a little odd to me.

Namely, it seems that there was--and possibly still is--a habit of putting peanuts in Coca-Cola. Let me say that again. Peanuts put in Coca-Cola.

Yeah, it doesn't matter how many times I say it or write it, it just sounds...wrong. I like peanuts. I don't dislike Coca-Cola (though there are many other better soft drinks out there, in my opinion). But the idea of the two of them together just seem horrible. And not in a small way, either.

My wife, who told me of this tradition, claims that it was so that the salt on the peanuts would keep the carbonation going longer, but wouldn't it be easier to just add salt? Peanuts don't just taste like salt; they have a distinct flavor of their own, and that flavor doesn't exactly scream Coke to me.

So, while this probably isn't a common tradition in the region anymore, it does make me realize that--even though the south is my home--I'm not really a southerner. In fact, I'm not a northerner, either. Or really, a midwesterner, being raised in Indiana. I'm just me, which is fine. I just happen to be happy living in the south, and I plan to be here for a long, long time. It's a great place, really.

Well, except for the pollen. But that was my rant from last year about this time. It still sucks, to be honest.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Wrestlemania

It's been a while since I posted here. Something I aim to correct. And tonight is the start of this trend.

I went over to my friend Brian's house to watch Wrestlemania XXIV. Yes, that does mean that I am something of a closet wrestling fan, and have been ever since my wife introduced me to watching it about a decade ago. Oh yes, you read that correctly: my WIFE introduced me to watching wrestling. I mean, I watched it a little as a kid, but I stopped before I hit my teens. And then she got me back into it, and we have watched it off and on since then.

And tonight we went and watched Wrestlemania. It was an okay show, with decent matches and performances. The people we were watching it with were a lot of fun, and Brian and his wife Jessie were very gracious hosts.

But the big news of the night--especially for long-time wrestling fans--was that tonight was the final match for Ric Flair. Flair has been called the greatest wrestler of all time, and though I am not personally a fan of his, I cannot truly argue with that claim. His ability to perform both in and out of the ring set a new standard for the industry, and changed it in many ways. And to hear other wrestlers speak of him, they only have kind words to say about his support and willingness to help younger, up and coming wrestlers make it in a very difficult industry, and perform as a professional in every situation. I salute his career, and thank him for all the entertaining moments that he has provided over the years.

But there is more...

Now that Ric has retired from the ring, what are his career options? Well, after some discussion, I think that Brian hit on it tonight during the show. He can go into the cereal business. With very little marketing, he can create a staple of any pantry, with a box of Flair-O's. And it's going to be so easy for him to create, too. All he has to do is take a box of Cheerios and add a single letter "W" to the box...

Yeah. It's a wrestling joke.

WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

So...Cloverfield

I saw the movie Cloverfield yesterday, and I've decided that I want to talk about it. That means that there are going to be some, but there are going to be a PLETHORA of spoilers below. So, if that is an issue to you, stop reading now.

I mean it.

Okay, so...Cloverfield. When I first saw the trailer, I was kinda excited about the movie as I am a big-time fan of giant monster movies. Then I read a little about the movie, and I lost some of that interest. I was worried about the film-making style, what with the whole thing being shot in hand-held camera style, i.e.: Blair Witch Project. Then, as it got closer, my interest grew again and I was pretty anxious to see it once again. So, I saw it.

And was very disappointed.

Not in the film-making style. That wasn't so bad, actually. The hand-held personal angle of the storytelling was somewhat compelling, even. And the personal interest side of the story works--for the first two-thirds of the movie. The problem is the last third of the film.

You see, Cloverfield isn't a monster movie. It's a movie about 9-11. A massive amount of damage is done to the city, and we follow a group of people trying to survive the devastation and rescue the love interest of the tale. Not bad, really, but after they save the woman they have nothing left to do. That's because the monster isn't a part of the movie. The monster is, at best, a tertiary character in the film.

Let's look a little deeper, shall we. The film is told as a documented version of what happened to New York after a huge disaster strikes the city. Without warning, a huge blow destroys significant portions of the city, and even one towering skyscraper (which I thought was the Empire State Building, but there was some debate on that with the people I went with) collapses and send dust through the streets causing even more damage. No one knows who or what has done this damage to the city, all they know is the destruction around them. It looks like a war zone.

Sound familiar? And don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with this. My favorite Kaiju film (that would be a giant monster movie in case you didn't know) is Godzilla. Godzilla is a reaction by Japanese film-makers to the atomic bomb being dropped on their country. The amazing power and devastating power of the atom is brought to life as a monster that they have to confront and deal with, and ultimately they figure out a way that the power can be tamed and the threat destroyed.

Not so much here. Part of that is due to the fact that, as of today, we as Americans have no idea what happened on 9-11. Oh sure, we know who is responsible and some of the logistics of the event, but we don't know exactly the events that led up to it and created the disaster. There is no face to put on the monster. Hence the reason that we get a monster in this film that is vague and unclear. And when you do see it, it doesn't make sense and looks kinda stupid. So we have a monster that isn't something that we understand or can kill or control in any way.

And this creates problems in a film-making sense. Once the main characters find and rescue the love-interest of the film, the creators don't know what to do. There is no happy ending--hell, there isn't even much of an ending, more of a stopping--because they don't know what to do with it. That's because they take absolutely no time at all to develop the threat of the monster. We never find out what it is or why it's doing the things that it is. There is a vague indication that the thing has come from outer space as the last scene in the movie is a flashback (the video tape that the events are being filmed on have footage from about a month earlier that shows something that looks like a meteor landing in the ocean), but that's it. We don't know anything else. And they deliberately go out of their way NOT to tell us anything. They have chances. And that, above everything else, is what makes the movie frustrating. The human interest side of the story works for the first two-thirds of the film, but after that they need to pull the story back to show more of what's happening. Provide depth to the tale. They don't do that.

I have heard the argument that the film doesn't do that to preserve the "reality" of the film. Oooookaaaay...let's look at that. They wanted to give it a realistic approach. Fine. Then why does the monster change size and shape? Early on, it is clearly shown that there are multiple tentacles that destroy a building, but later we see no tentacles at all. And no, it wasn't the beast's tail, as that is still just a single thing, and there were MULTIPLE tentacles. And then we see the monster walking around the city upright, like a humanoid, but later when the creature is shown clearly, we see nothing but the amazing gimp-beast, lumbering about with no legs and only backwards shaped arms. And, to top it off, at no time does it look threatening. It looks--dumb. In fact, it reminds me of the newborn alien from Alien: Resurrection, which was the thing that made that film bad. But I honestly don't want to sit here and attack the design of the monster; just because I thought it looked dumb doesn't mean that everyone will--that is a matter of personal taste.

So, let's look at the "reality" of the humans. First off, there is the matter of "recording the events for history" that is emphasized so often in the movie. For someone doing that, this guy goes way out of his way not to show anything. The few times that things do happen that would be worth documenting he turns the camera away from things, not giving us a clear view of anything. An example: the monster finally shows up and the military attacks it, and he chooses to film his friends cowering in the corner rather than show the attack. And then there is later in the movie where they have all gotten to the evac point the military sets up--and the helicopter taking them away flies right over the monster...for a long time. Long enough for the monster to destroy the helicopter. Yeah, the military does that sort of thing all the time. And let's not even get into the concept that they are able to walk down a dozen flights of a building that is leaning into another building--and the building that is holding up the other building is fine except for some superficial damage. So, no, the "realistic" angle doesn't hold up.

But overall, the film is disappointing because it forgets to be a monster movie. A monster movie is about the monster. At some point Hollywood has forgotten that. Cloverfield is about a bunch of people that die--and yes, they all die--and we never find out why or what is killing them. And that isn't a story, it's a scene. Shame the people who made the movie don't understand the difference.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Better or Worse?

Have you often wondered where to rate all of the music that you listen to? Well, I am here to give you a simple guide to help you through all of your hard times when deciding where any particular tune that you might listen to would rank.

This idea comes to me from my friend John Quiring, who took minutes I am sure to develop this complicated and precise measuring tool.

The way it works is simple: is it better or worse than 38 Special?

That is to say, when you listen to a song, is that particular song better or worse than something that 38 Special performed. This particular litmus was chosen because, while they aren't particularly great, they aren't really that good either. To make the point, when you hear 38 Special come on the radio, normally you aren't happy to hear the song, but is it really bad enough to bother changing the channel? Normally, no. You just endure the song for the approximate three minutes that it will be on.

Let's look at an example shall we? Say that the song Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice were to come on the radio. Go ahead and say it, I'll wait.

Now that you've said that, imagine it happening. The first thing that you would do is change the channel--while screaming, naturally. But if Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles comes on, you would stay on the channel and sing along. Well, you would if you had taste, anyway.

But what about, say, Jeremy by Pearl Jam? Is that bad enough to change the channel, or just not bad enough to bother with? Well, that's where you decide: is it better or worse than 38 Special? 

Only you can decide the final fate of any song, but at least now you have a measuring stick. Good luck.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Happy Holidays

Sure, it's been about three months since I posted, but that doesn't mean that I've been sitting around doing nothing. In fact, I've been doing so much that I haven't really had time to post here. But that changes today! ...well, I guess that was obvious...

I want to talk about Christmas. Not the holiday itself, but the joyous act of gift giving. To the point where I have decided that I want to post...

The Top Gifts I Am NOT Giving This Year!

Gift That Inspired This List

That would be the Zen Moving Dolphin. I saw this wonder at Macy's earlier today, and it took my breath away. Not in a good way, either. This magical monument consists of several pieces of plastic, carefully molded to look like a dolphin when put together--think of a dolphin that has been cut into layers and then reassembled. The beautiful part of this sculpture is that the pieces undulate up and down to mimic the motion of a dolphin swimming. And you can have it for only $80.00. Wow. Who DOESN'T want that under their tree?...

Gift That I Wanted To Get My WIfe That Would Have Pissed Off PETA

Belk's at Town Center has a fur department. They have an absolutely gorgeous shaved mink coat that would have looked spectacular on Allyson. Alas, though, I didn't have the $3000.00 it would have taken to bring the thing home. Here's hoping for that Christmas Lottery miracle!

Gift That I Would Love To Get Everyone Who Wears Glasses

I have laser eyes now. About two months back I went and had my eyes sliced open and then zapped with a machine that made it so I no longer have to wear glasses. It's an amazing thing. It is wonderful to be able to see things with my own eyes, instead of having to rely on a piece of plastic to see...well, anything. I was pretty much legally blind before hand, and now I have 20/15 vision. Technology is a miracle. It's also expensive as hell, so, again, I can't afford it. But I recommend it to anyone that might be thinking about it. (I saw Dr. K at Piedmont Better Vision. They have financing.)

Gift That Everyone Asks About But I Couldn't Find

Peace on Earth. I looked everywhere, honest. Nobody has it in stock. Go figure.

Gift That Nobody Should Ever Have, Ever. I Mean It.

A cystourethroscopy. You don't want it, honest. I had one last week. It's no fun. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that when they say "your clinching, can you relax?", it's something easier to ask than do. Oh, and I'm fine. The results were great and I'm okay.

Gift That I Want To Give My Team

Anything at this point would be an improvement. The Atlanta Falcons have had the single worst twelve month span of any professional football team in history. Everything that could have turned against them, has, and it looks like a long road to recovery. Unfortunately there isn't much that I can give them except support, which I will do every week. So, I guess I am giving them something, after all...

So, for today, that is my list. If I think of other things to add to it, I will. But I do want to give one thing to everyone taking the time to read this, especially after me not posting for about three months:

Merry Christmas!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Matter of Timing

Avengers Classic #4 shipped recently, and it gave me a chance to re-read the issue of The Avengers that brought Captain America back to comics. It had been a while since I had read it, but I have always enjoyed the issue.

Reading it, I was reminded of a couple of things. First, I really like Captain America. And two, what the hell is taking them so long to bring him back or do something about his death? In Avengers #4, the matter of Cap being found by the Sub-Mariner, thrown into the ocean, being found by the Avengers, having them recognize him, revive him, his short battle with them, and then his remembering who he is and what happened to put him in the frigid situation they found him is a dynamic and exciting tale.

Oh, and it takes all of eight-pages.

Yeah, all of eight pages. It would take most writers eight or so issues to tell that story, and honestly, it wouldn't be any better. In fact, I would wager that they would try to make it so "realistic" that it wouldn't be very good at all. I think that one of the biggest problems facing comics today is the idea that they need to be more realistic. That's just not true.

In fact, most of these books that are trying to be "real" are so far gone that they are not even vaguely close to real. They make a mockery of what storytelling is supposed to be, probably due to the fact that most of the people that are writing comics, I would be willing to bet, have never studied story structure or the concept of storytelling. It isn't just a matter of putting together a series of dramatic, shocking events that ultimately are meaningless--the worst of which being the totally unnecessary trend for writers to think that killing a character is the same as adding drama.

So to any writers and would-be writers--and yes, I'm speaking to you Ed Brubaker, Brian Bendis, and many, many others--pick up Classic Avengers #4 and read it. I have trouble believing that many of the people who are currently at the helm of some of the most beloved characters in comics have read all of the early stories. Now I could be completely wrong about that, but that would be even worse to be honest.

Friday, September 21, 2007

...And Knowing Is Half The Battle.


Here we see Wolvering letting us know exactly his goal and its location. Good to know. Good to know.