NFL Day One

Well, the first day of the full-time NFL season is over, and I have already learned one important thing: I have no idea who the heck Heineken is marketing their new product towards.

Have you seen their very odd new ad campaign? The one for the mini-keg of sorts, with the ad featuring what I am guessing is an attractive woman who is made up to appear somewhat android-ish and then she opens up her main body cavity to present a tiny keg of Heineken. She moves with an odd stilted behavior (intentionally), and eventually ends the ad by bringing out two identical androids, thus having three of them standing there posing with beer.

Okay. Why?

Is this supposed to make me want beer? Is this supposed to make me think that Heineken is an advanced brewing company that utelizes only the most amazing of robotic technologies? Are they trying to show us that with the worst lighting and makeup on record they can make an attractive woman look bad on screen?

Well, they succeeded with the last one. I guess that they did accomplish the goal of getting me to know that Heineken has produced some sort of new keg device, but even if I drank beer (which I don't) I wouldn't be interested. And my friends who watched the commercial who DO drink beer were turned off by the ad. The images do anything but sell the product.

Which always makes me wonder how this pitch went. I see two guys with used car salesman smiles looking at a table full of suits and saying, "Okay, this is our best idea. You know how this is a revolutionary, advanced concept? Well, what sells that better than a scary-pale woman with ugly hair dancing poorly? Eh? Eh?" Of course, since the ad was run about...oh, I don't know...a BILLION times today, the suits sat there mouth agape screaming "BRILLIANT!!" It's sad really.

Oh, and my team, The Falcons, lost. Not shocking, but still disappointing. Still, it was week one, and it's too early in the regime of Bobby Petrino and the team to judge them. Especially with all of the off-field incidents of this year.

And at least they aren't scary androids. Wait...maybe that would help them out... Someone in Flowery Branch call Heineken now!!