A Matter of Timing

Avengers Classic #4 shipped recently, and it gave me a chance to re-read the issue of The Avengers that brought Captain America back to comics. It had been a while since I had read it, but I have always enjoyed the issue.

Reading it, I was reminded of a couple of things. First, I really like Captain America. And two, what the hell is taking them so long to bring him back or do something about his death? In Avengers #4, the matter of Cap being found by the Sub-Mariner, thrown into the ocean, being found by the Avengers, having them recognize him, revive him, his short battle with them, and then his remembering who he is and what happened to put him in the frigid situation they found him is a dynamic and exciting tale.

Oh, and it takes all of eight-pages.

Yeah, all of eight pages. It would take most writers eight or so issues to tell that story, and honestly, it wouldn't be any better. In fact, I would wager that they would try to make it so "realistic" that it wouldn't be very good at all. I think that one of the biggest problems facing comics today is the idea that they need to be more realistic. That's just not true.

In fact, most of these books that are trying to be "real" are so far gone that they are not even vaguely close to real. They make a mockery of what storytelling is supposed to be, probably due to the fact that most of the people that are writing comics, I would be willing to bet, have never studied story structure or the concept of storytelling. It isn't just a matter of putting together a series of dramatic, shocking events that ultimately are meaningless--the worst of which being the totally unnecessary trend for writers to think that killing a character is the same as adding drama.

So to any writers and would-be writers--and yes, I'm speaking to you Ed Brubaker, Brian Bendis, and many, many others--pick up Classic Avengers #4 and read it. I have trouble believing that many of the people who are currently at the helm of some of the most beloved characters in comics have read all of the early stories. Now I could be completely wrong about that, but that would be even worse to be honest.

...And Knowing Is Half The Battle.

Here we see Wolvering letting us know exactly his goal and its location. Good to know. Good to know.

NFL Day One

Well, the first day of the full-time NFL season is over, and I have already learned one important thing: I have no idea who the heck Heineken is marketing their new product towards.

Have you seen their very odd new ad campaign? The one for the mini-keg of sorts, with the ad featuring what I am guessing is an attractive woman who is made up to appear somewhat android-ish and then she opens up her main body cavity to present a tiny keg of Heineken. She moves with an odd stilted behavior (intentionally), and eventually ends the ad by bringing out two identical androids, thus having three of them standing there posing with beer.

Okay. Why?

Is this supposed to make me want beer? Is this supposed to make me think that Heineken is an advanced brewing company that utelizes only the most amazing of robotic technologies? Are they trying to show us that with the worst lighting and makeup on record they can make an attractive woman look bad on screen?

Well, they succeeded with the last one. I guess that they did accomplish the goal of getting me to know that Heineken has produced some sort of new keg device, but even if I drank beer (which I don't) I wouldn't be interested. And my friends who watched the commercial who DO drink beer were turned off by the ad. The images do anything but sell the product.

Which always makes me wonder how this pitch went. I see two guys with used car salesman smiles looking at a table full of suits and saying, "Okay, this is our best idea. You know how this is a revolutionary, advanced concept? Well, what sells that better than a scary-pale woman with ugly hair dancing poorly? Eh? Eh?" Of course, since the ad was run about...oh, I don't know...a BILLION times today, the suits sat there mouth agape screaming "BRILLIANT!!" It's sad really.

Oh, and my team, The Falcons, lost. Not shocking, but still disappointing. Still, it was week one, and it's too early in the regime of Bobby Petrino and the team to judge them. Especially with all of the off-field incidents of this year.

And at least they aren't scary androids. Wait...maybe that would help them out... Someone in Flowery Branch call Heineken now!!