The Saavy Shopper

I have been going about things all wrong.

Normally, I am the type of person who will research what they want to purchase, search around for the best price or deal on the decided product, and then make my purchase. And normally, I do these things either through the magic of the internet or at a store that specializes in such product. But why? Why am I going to all that trouble, when clearly there is a superior method.

I should just buy what they advertise on streetcorners.

That's right! The time-honored practice of advertising goods and services at a bust intersection is clearly what I should use to make my buying decisions! After all, for as long as I can remember in my forty-plus years I've been seeing things advertised by the marketing geniuses that have gone to all the trouble to put a sign in the dirt. Sometimes, they don't even put them in the dirt, but hire professionals to stand at the corner with a sign looking dapper and professional in order to inspire us to come into their place of business to spend copious amounts of money.

Oh, and it isn't just retail products that you can buy. Oh no!

You can get daycare service for your children, thus insuring nothing but the finest of upbringing for the fruit of your loins (not to be confused with the Fruit of the Looms, which would be at one of the other places advertised).

You can get healthcare services and advise. Worried about your health? So are the countless number of caring individuals that have gone to great lengths to get you to call their clearly posted phone number.

And housing? Well, what type of housing ISN'T advertised by the side of the road? And I'm not talking directions to a subdivision, either. I'm talking full-on home loans and direct offers to purchase homes for your ease of mind.

Not sure what you want to buy? Not a problem! Sometimes the people who put out these signs aren't clear on what they want to sell! Just look for a vague name and/or title with a phone number attached to it, and you will get that surprise shopping experience that you've been dreaming about.

In fact, I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this. If I want to get something out there that people will really notice, I need to break out my cardboard and markers--or if I'm feeling really daring, go to my local Kinko's to get something professionally created--and let the world know.

Viva Le Advertising Revolution!!